JUAN SAYS: It has been more than a week since Jodi Sta. Maria’s interview where we she said this very statement: “we should NEVER apologize for having high standards in love.” (CAPS LOCK ours). And are still pondering on her statement, us, 30-somethings, 40-somethings, single and still keeping our standards to the highest levels.
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We certainly have heard it all, all sorts of questions why we aren’t married. And all we can muster was a meaningful smile, hoping to change the subject before we blow our top. And if you think people would stop pressing, you’d better think again. Not because our culture has been exposed to progressive TV shows has it changed the perception of many about love and getting hitched. Until today, people think that when you are in your late 30s up to your 40s, there is something definitely wrong with you if you are not married. And the worst part is. they try to hook you up with undesirable aliens, este partners, just because they think you need one.
Let’s face it, everyone wants to be with someone. But not everyone wants to be with someone just because…
We have heard all the hurtful comments such as: “matanda ka na, choosy ka pa?”
We know, we are not exactly spring chicken, but we know our shit and what we bring to the table. And believe us when we say, we are not afraid to eat alone.
Just because we are older does that mean that we are desperate. Hindi naman siguro tamang kung sino na lang ang nandiyan, kahit ni-isa sa checklist mo eh walang na-cross out, eh yun na yun. We don’t throw away our standards just because we are lonely. And who the fuck says we are?
We are choosy to a fault of being single. But then again, we’d rather be alone than to put up with bullshit. We are too old for that anyways.
Here is something that we have realized: “We date, are in a relationship with or are married to people, according to the level of our self esteem.” The person we are with right now has a direct co-relation to how we think of ourselves, of how much we know ourselves. Many people choose to compromise, to settle for what is available. But some of us choose to be alone, rather than be with people who highly miss the mark. And maybe we are suffering for it. Maybe we are paying the price. But there is no higher price than being with someone, and yet be miserable all at the same time.
So we’d rather keep the standards. We’d rather stick by the checklist. And as Jodi said, we will NEVER apologize.