05 Mar GOT Sand Snakes VS the Philippine Snakes
JUAN SAYS: Everybody’s excited with the newest addition to the host of characters of the Game of Thrones. Who wouldn’t? Girls in fighting form will have all of us glued to the television. Girls wanting to be just like them (skin-tight clothes, whips and flying kicks), and men wanting them (skin-tight clothes, whips and flying kicks). Oh did we mention that many are already drooling and talking about the protruding nipples in Obara’s breastplates? Sheesh!
Nothing is sexier than strong women in snakeskin costumes. And we mean nothing. Pinoys are giddy about this latest news about the GOT, and why not? When we are all too familiar with women snake characters on television and movies. After all, aren’t snakes a phallic symbol that suggests slithering across the bed (or table, or floor or kubeta if you may) and being just that? Snakes.
In our crazy minds we thought of pitting each Sand Snakes with our very own roster of Philippine snakes, and this is what we’ve got:
Tyene the double daggers
Valentina in the 2005 Darna series, is Braguda’s lady-in-waiting Narda and Valentina are also cousins, but in the latter they found out that they are twins. Valentina was the Anomalkan who will kill the Queen of Anomalka, Braguda, according to the prophecy. She has the ability to control snakes as a result, she can use her snakes/hair to bite regular humans with similar effect to a deadly viper. If they should survive the experience, their strength and toughness increase dramatically but they can be controlled by Valentina in a similar fashion to her serpentine servants. She also has her own fangs (which assumably also contain venom) as well as the ability to change her form. She can either transform herself into a giant snake-like creature or her limbs into one or more snakes.
Obara, like her father Oberyn Martell, prefers the spear.
Valentina in the 2009 TV series, is a gorgon with superhuman strength and a psychic bond to all manner of serpents. She also has the ability to heal humans who are sick and suck out poisons and all manner of toxins from any human and cure them in the process.
Nymeria is cracking that whip.
Galema is the daughter of the King of Snakes and demi-god Zuma, also born with a two-headed snake similar to her father. She became the arch nemesis of her father with her own snakes venom stronger than that of Zuma’s.
Furthermore, who could miss out on our most favorite snake of all time. The one that calmly took the question: “Bikini mo ba iyan o balat mo?” when she was spotted wearing a snakeskin number in her resort; the one that pointedly exclaims: “I know the market, because I AM the market;” the one that said: “Ano ang gagawin ninyo if the only man you love is unfortunately married? I am not gonna give up Ram without putting a goddamn fight! (sabay tapon ng wine glass);”
…and the one that sings Chandelier with all her heart and without shame. WE LOVE ANNE CURTIS!