21 Jan The ‘Love Yourself’ Challenge (for men only)

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JUAN SAYS: It wouldn’t be a JUAN article if we just let the girls fingers do the talking. We have decided to bring the challenge to the next level by asking the men to do the same. Yet as we interviewed a medical professional whom we asked to help us device the 30-day calendar for men, he abruptly asked: “is this for straight guys or gay guys?” Our editors shouted in unison: BOTH! Our interviewee chuckled at our “innocence” and stated that gay guys masturbate differently than straight guys. He further claims that gay guys are more in tune with their bodies, thus are more experimental when loving themselves. We were left speechless and decided to let the straight guys into the world of gay men masturbation. Maybe they’d learn a thing or two and enjoy it even more!

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Masturbation – Straight Guy 30 day Challenge

Day 1 – Underhand grip to penis, (thumb closer to head of penis, pinky finger close to the base – think you’re holding an unsheathed light saber/sword ready to do battle with the dark forces), X5 min, use dominant hand

Day 2 – Overhand grip to penis, (thumb closer to base of penis, pinky finger close to the head of the penis – think you’re holding a sheathed light saber/sword, anticipating any attack by dark forces), x5 minutes, use dominant hand

Day 3 – Underhand grip to penis, (thumb closer to head of penis, pinky finger close to the base – think you’re holding an unsheathed light saber/sword ready to do battle with the dark forces), X5 min, use NON-DOMINANT HAND

Day 4 – Overhand grip to penis, (thumb closer to base of penis, pinky finger close to the head of the penis – think you’re holding a sheathed light saber/sword, anticipating any attack by dark forces), x5 minutes, use NON-DOMINANT HAND

Day 5 – Underhand grip to penis (dominant hand), then use non dominant hand to stimulate your balls. x5 min

Day 6 – Overhand grip to penis (dominant hand) then use non dominant hand to stimulate your balls. x5 min

Day 7 – Underhand grip to penis (dominant hand) then use non dominant hand to stimulate either nipple to arouse, 10min

Day 8 – Overhand grip to penis (dominant hand) then use non dominant hand to stimulate either nipple to arouse, 10min

Day 9 – Alternate Overhand and underhand grip with dominant hand on penis, use non dominant hand to stimulate either nipple, 10min

Day 10 – Alternate overhand and underhand grip with non dominant hand on penis, use dominant hand to stimulate either nipple, 10min

Day 11 – Alternate Overhand and underhand grip to penis using dominant hand, non dominant hand use some lotion and stimulate the anal area and the area around it called the peri-anal area (please clean with soap and water prior to execution, otherwise you will have a caked ass, all brown and yucky) x 10 min

Day 12 – Alternate Overhand and underhand grip to penis using non dominant hand, with dominant hand use some lotion (preferably non scented baby lotion that does not smell like your mother when you’re done wanking yourself) and stimulate the anal area and the area around it called the peri-anal area (AGAIN! please clean with soap and water prior to execution, otherwise you will have a caked ass, all brown and yucky) x 10 min

Day 13 – Use a FLESHLIGHT with baby lotion, use either hand or grip- No it’s not the song by Jessie J, google please, don’t ask your friend, I’m saving you the embarrassment of looking stupid (either dominant or non dominant hand) – 10min

Day 14 – Mix up strokes, left and right hand use lotion, x15min

Day 15 – Mix up strokes left and right hand, use lotion, alternate playing with your nipples x 15 min

Day 16 – Mix up strokes, left and right hand, use lotion, alternate playing with your balls and our asshole (only outside, anything more and you’re gay – you will be cursed by the Supreme Lord of Gayness!!! Whose name we cannot mention for fear of libel) x 15min

Day 17 – Mix up strokes, left and right hand, use FEMININE lubricant (available in sachet or dispenser bottle, ask your girlfriend if you dare, or better yet your mother – Yes, that was a joke. I hope you didn’t, you pervert. Go to mercury or watson’s drug, just make sure nobody hears you when you go to the counter, or better yet write it down legibly unless you want the pharmacy assistant saying it out loud) x 15min

Day 18 – Use FLESHLIGHT with feminine lubricant, use either hand or grip x 15 min

Day 19 – Use 3 fingers (thumb, index, middle finger) both hands alternate, either grip x 15 min

Day 20 – Use Silicone Masturbator (the one without the hard cover, with feminine lubricant, – cost 600 pesos online), use either grip x15 min

Day 21 – Use both hands while masturbating, feminine lubricant; you may incorporate circular/twisting motion (don’t worry if your dick is too short for it, nobody will know) x 15 min

Day 22 – Use hands , either grip for the first 10 min (either one would do), then shift to fleshlight in the next 10 min until you reach orgasm = total 20 min

Day 23 – Use fleshlight, either hand or grip, the free hand use to stimulate the asshole with feminine lubricant x 20 min

Day 24 – Use a fleshlight while it is inserted into a comfortable position while you kneel down (choose the side of the bed in between the couch and the bed, to mimic a vaginal intercourse – look Mom no hands!!!) use baby lotion x 20 min

Day 25 – Use a fleshlight while it is inserted into a comfortable position while you kneel down (choose the side of the bed in between the couch and the bed, to mimic a vaginal intercourse – look Mom no hands!!!) use FEMININE LUBRICANT x 20 min

Day 26 – Take a shower, begin stimulating yourself for 5 minutes after taking a bath, make sure to use mild soap, as you grope your body, both nipples, down to your balls, then with dominant hand masturbate and the other hand play with the area around your asshole. 15 min = total 20min

Day 27 – Use saliva, spit on your hand as many as you can spit out, place saliva on your dick, stroke gently for 5 min, use either hand or grip. Play with your balls. Add baby lotion and continue for another 15 min.

Day 28 – Use saliva, spit on your hand as many as you can spit out, place saliva on your dick, use either hand or grip, play with your nipples with free hand. Add Feminine lubricant. = 25 min

Day 29 – Try any stroke combo, use lube or lotion, mix with fleshlight if so desired. Stimulate any other body part you have not tried stimulating to get maximum sensation = 25 min

Day 30 – GO ALL OUT!!! stroke combo, lube, lotion, saliva, fleshlight or any other silicone masturbator, go up and down from nipple to balls, to around your ass and back up. Squeeze whatever you want to squeeze, grope whatever you want to grope, rub whatever you want to rub on your body. Use one hand two hands, no hands (refer to Day 25). This is called Apocalyptic Combo. Do this until you reach climax with the best climax you have ever done alone to yourself.

= 25 min (note: please refrain from making unnecessary noise especially if you don’t live alone, your family or housemates will either call a psychiatrist or an exorcist. At least you’re not a pervert)

 

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