12 Jun The Anti Social Media

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anticover

Social media is the newest, most powerful drug. About two to three decades ago, it would be a miracle to be able to download a homepage of a simple website on a dial-up. Twenty to thirty years finally caught up and we are now at the evolving phase of social media. Love it or hate it, it obviously doesn’t give a shit.
 
I started my online journey with Friendster. Like most of you, it pains me to relive the memories of my past especially since they are filled with glittered GIFS of my selfies taken from top view. I have to admit I’m a little grateful for this because no matter what I do or achieve, this memory keeps me grounded and force-feeds me humility to this day and has veered me away from the need to make YouTube videos showing my breasts.
 
Today, thanks to the much wider availability of smart phones and free Internet, three social media royalty have emerged: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Remember when you first started on these platforms and it was just so addicting? Like you had to check it every minute just to see if you have any new likes or if you need to retweet something or there is some lunch out there being served and needs some double tap, pronto?
 
I’m all for social media and the huge advancement it has brought into our generation. Two to three decades ago, we’ll have to shout profanities outside our window to our next-door neighbor for having their dog poop on our lawn. Now we can just post it on their wall, tag some other neighbors and start an all-out neighborhood war in the comforts of our own homes.
 
We don’t need to wait for the 6PM news! We get our news right after it happens. Sometimes, we even get the news even if it didn’t happen. How great is that? And did you ever imagine the day where we could be updated on what everyone is eating in real time? Even a glass of water with a slice of lemon deserves a spot online.
 
The baby boomers will never get the frustration out of bad lighting in a fancy restaurant which minimizes your chance of getting a great meal shot while checking in on Facebook. Again, we have all been there and anyone who says otherwise is a liar and shall be tasked to wash Satan’s balls when we all meet in hell someday.
 
I didn’t travel to anywhere besides my house, my office, and the 24-hour burger store so I have nothing to post and I felt bored like I have nothing to tell people. My life has become this stupidly superficial and it is eating me up alive
 
As much as I love social media, it has become a new addiction of our generation. It’s the new heroin.
anti1
I remember a time where I got so stressed over the fact that I was 21 and I seemed to have accomplished nothing. I have a stable job, I pay all my bills on time, I can still go out every now and then, I’m healthy, and I have a great relationship with my friends and family and I still felt incompetent. I tried to pinpoint the source of this stress and realized it was due to social media. I have been on it for such a long time every single day and it has become my reality.
 
People don’t post their crappy lives online. They only post the good ones. No matter how fucked up their day was, the thing you’re going to see on their feed would be their smiling faces with glasses of wine they can’t even pronounce at a place so hipster you’ll have to make your own lighting with some wax and wicker strategically placed on the table. We only see the stories that would make other people want their lives. Only a few people post their chaotic life online and they’re often called attention whores.
 
Our feeds and walls and timelines have become our portfolio. I was even told once that employers even check your social media out for reference so the pressure to become the online superstar version of yourself is now and forever heightened. Whichever fucktard in the HR decided to use social media as reference, you’ll be wiping Satan’s butt next to the liars I mentioned before.
anti3
When this year started, I promised myself that there would be a change. That aside from manually unclenching my butt cheeks after I present to clients, I would be trying more efficient ways to lessen my stress since my doctor told me I suck at it. I started veering away from social media for a week and then like a normal soc-med crackhead, I fell off the wagon and went on a posting spree after.
 
But now, at least, after all my realizations, I realize I wouldn’t want to trade my life with anyone else’s on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Yeah I’d like some parts of theirs but my horribly lit, untraveled, never-on-fleek life has its good parts that sometimes become great. And I realized that I’d rather have that than have the stress of being the millennial I am tasked to be.
 
For some people, it’s great and they embrace the social media frenzy and I am also down with that. I don’t mind if you’re as hungry for burgers as you are for likes. Whatever rings your bell, buddy. As for me, I still look forward to the day that I would be free from this addiction because I know today is NOT the day. So is the day after this. And the one after that.
 
And also, and please keep this between us, I would totally trade lives with Anna Faris for the sole purpose of canoodling Chris Pratt.
 

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