25 Jan The 7 Worst Mistakes People Make In Their 30s
JUAN SAYS: Everybody wants to be 30. Everyone thinks that being 30 means you are on top of the world. But as you reach that aspirational age where they say: 30s is the new 20s (only with a gold credit card) the biggest mistakes of ones life comes into play. We have been 30 and yes we have made some, if not all of these mistakes. Being 30 isn’t everything.
Source: Businessinsider.com | Richard Feloni
Quora users discussed lessons they learned in the thread: “What is the biggest mistake you made in your 30s and what did you learn from it?”
We’ve collected some of the best responses:
1. They abandon their loftier aspirations.
Twenty-somethings are often willing to settle for a job they are not passionate about, but before they know it, that job turns into their career. An anonymous poster writes that his or her biggest mistake of his or her 30s was to become “addicted to a monthly salary,” in the sense that he or she settled for job security over career satisfaction.
If you’ve ever wanted to start a business or pursue a side project, it will only get more difficult as your responsibilities increase.
JUAN SAYS: In the Philippines, many 20-somethings fall prey to the call of earning hefty amounts of money in exchange for pursuing what they love doing. At 30, we have been so addicted with buying things that our “friends” have that we can no longer let go of the monthly paycheck, even if it means that we are already miserable and dreaming of having our own businesses one day. That one day will never come unless you make that one day, T-O-D-A-Y!
2. They put their career ahead of family and friends.
“Don’t just work. Make memories. The older you get, the harder it is to make meaningful relationships. Foster those while you’re young,” writes Microsoft product designer Michael Dorian Bach, who is now in his late 30s.
JUAN SAYS: Even a promise of a long-time, for good, relationship would take a backseat when you are focused on your career and your calculated schemes on how to get there. And finally that “big day” comes, and in comes the feeling of loneliness and emptiness. A career will never share your cold bed, nor hold your hand when everything starts to fade. Before you know it you are old, alone with no family or friends to share your so-called success. Think about it.
3. They neglect their health.
Bach writes that the pursuit of a career can also be a drain on one’s health. “Be healthy. That is priority 1. Don’t get into your 30s being slow and tired all the time. It sucks,” he says. Develop an exercise routine, and enjoy your mobility while you’re still young.
JUAN SAYS: You learn to smoke. You learn to drink. You learn to party all night. It all comes with the territory, or NOT. You can choose to indulge and party ‘till kingdom come, but one must remember that all those drunken sleepless nights will eventually take its toll on ones body. Sometimes, one day too soon.
4. They miss the chance to have kids.
CEO coach Alison Whitmire shares a personal story about how she took getting pregnant for granted in her 30s and chose to pursue a new career opportunity instead of trying to have a child. Years later, after a failed pregnancy and then a failed marriage, she remarried and had a baby at 43. She realizes now that no one is ever adequately prepared to have a child, and if you want one, it’s best to do so before it’s too late.
JUAN SAYS: If you want kids, that is.
5. They don’t spend enough time with their aging parents.
Entrepreneur and blogger James Altucher, who is now 46, writes about a particularly difficult memory for him: “When I was 34 I hung up the phone on my dad in an argument and never returned his calls. Six months later he had a stroke and died. A week before that he had emailed me to say hello but I didn’t return the email. I’m sorry, Dad.”
It can be easy to forget that your parents grow older as you do. Don’t take them for granted.
JUAN SAYS: Hopefully, only a handful of 30-somethings get to experience this in the Philippines. Our culture is known to have close family ties, and being away from aging parents isn’t exactly a good idea. Our sense of responsibility towards our parents just kicks in the moment we see that our roles have already reversed (It is us spending for our parents and not the other way around). A matter of obligation? Hopefully not. But a way of showing our love and appreciation for the people who brought us into this world.
6. They don’t set up a financial foundation for the future.
Altucher writes about the many times in his 30s he bet practically all of his money on a business venture and then lost all of it. Altucher is doing well now, but he looks back on his failures as the result of recklessness.
As your responsibilities grow, it can seem like what you put into savings won’t amount to much come retirement, but it will only become harder to start saving in your 40s.
JUAN SAYS: Yes you are reckless at 30. You think that whatever you put your finger on turns into gold. And you make mistakes, expensive ones sometimes. We regard these experiences as “tuition fees” to life. We don’t learn from successes do we? We learn from mistakes.
7. They stop having fun.
Just because you’re not in your 20s anymore doesn’t mean you need to give up enjoying life. Bach says he spent the early half of his adult life chasing money, and it only made him unhappy and more cynical about life.
Go on dates with your significant other. Take your kids on trips. Go to concerts with your best friends. Just don’t forget that the money you work to make is useless if you’re miserable.
JUAN SAYS: As some people put it, we buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like (or to have something to post on instagram). The world has been reduced to the shallowness of what one owns or has. We have all forgotten what is important – spending time with people we love.