29 Oct Sisa Zaragoza’s Bitter Pill: My Thoughts on Kilig and #MayForever
JUAN SAYS: While we are all gushing about #Aldub and their quest to #Forever, let us not forget that we too have our own “forevers” for work on. Kiligs are good, but when will it last? Forever is too far away, what we have is the NOW. Are you bent on just watching forever happening to other people? Or would you rather work on your own forever by deciding today, that what you see on TV is not exactly what is happening in your own life yet you still believe that your own story, no matter how undramatic and problematic it may seem is also another road to forever. Here we are sharing Sisa’s decision to #MayForever.
“Kahit saan ka makarating, kahit anong gawin mo, palipat lipat ka man ng playground, ang pinaka importante, alam mo saan ang daan papunta sa homerun. Ganun naman din, kahit sa relasyon, kahit anong gawin mong paglalaro meron at meron kang isang uuwian, na alam mo, sa utak mo na kahit anong mangyari, doon at doon ka pa rin uuwi.” – CC, the girl who says the darndest things.
What’s the point of playing center field when all you want to do is go for the home run? What’s the point of going out with other people when all you can think of is going home? What is the point of looking elsewhere when you know deep in your heart that there is only one person who you’d want to spend forever with? What is the point in all these? What is the point of chasing after every opportunity, every dream, when deep in your heart, you just want to lay it to rest already, and just sit still. Be with him. Lie next to him every waking moment of your life.
I don’t enjoy the game anymore. And no matter how much prodding. No matter how much my co-players push me to play the field, I. JUST. DON’T. WANT. TO. PLAY. ANYMORE. I don’t need to play the game anymore because I’ve played it, again and again and again. And I always get the same results. I always win. If NOT to fall in love was the game, not to show your emotions was the standard of winning, then I’d always win.
I have said this time and again, that there will be people in our lives whom we’d like to hang out with, go out with and have fun with. At the end of the day, you just go home, take a long hot shower and sleep it off. But there will be someone in your life that you don’t get to see every time you want to. But he will always be that someone that you pray for every night. Wishing to God that when you wake up, it is his face that you see, beside you.
As I have learned, loving isn’t just about romance — the flowers, the exchange of gifts, the roller coaster of feelings and all else in between. It is about what keeps you going, and what makes you stay. It is the acceptance of who the person is and what he is not. It is not looking for what is not there but being happy and celebrating what is actually there.
The failure of relationships isn’t brought about by the inadequacy of two people, but the expectations that the person should be what he or she is not. It takes more than romantic love to understand this. It is a matter of maturity. If a relationship full of romantic love fails, what more a loveless relationship.
I have questioned love more times than I have questioned myself. Until somebody told me this:
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
We fall into the trap that “love” has set out for us. We give all the love we have. Yet we expect that what we give is what we should also receive. And when love fails, we ask ourselves, have we given enough? Not really, we just asked for a whole lot.
Let’s face it, not everyone in this world is the same when it comes to loving and receiving love. We look for many things. We look for many ingredients for us to say that we are indeed “loved.” Love is one of the most complicated things in this world. But if there is one thing that I do know, it is this: loving shouldn’t be an effort. You can’t force yourself to love someone if you don’t.
As one of my friends have described it, “if a person tries to change who you are or if a person tries to stop you from being a different person, from changing and evolving, from adapting to the times, indeed there is something wrong. We all deserve to be loved for who we are and for who we will be. No questions asked.
I have learned that love is more than a feeling. If anything it is a decision – to stand by each other, never breaking the bond or promise that one has said during their younger years. It is about not holding on too tightly, but never letting go. It is about being there, and for staying there, no matter what. Not asking for anything more than we can give. Not asking what is beyond necessary. It is giving without conditions. It is keeping all others out of the love circle, but letting love deal with the two individuals who committed themselves to love. It is about listening only to the beat of your hearts, and keeping it within yourselves, holding in sacred for every year that has passed. It is about liking the “you” today more than who you were without your partner. It is about bringing out the best in each other, and never leaving during the worst times. It is you, your partner and God who’d make #forever happen. And if we were to look at these pictures, surely God’s plan for love and marriage is “’till death do us part.”