04 Jun Don’t get mad at people who brag about their relationships on facebook
JUAN SAYS: Everyday, we are faced with overt displays of affection on our social media feeds. Aminin mo, nasusuka ka na! And you have actually contemplated on pressing the unfollow button just because you find cheesiness too sappy for your taste. It’s not that you are bitter but you do believe that not everything in one’s relationship should be for public consumption.
Oversharing was not uncommon at the dawn of social media, but today where we are more or less ten years into the social media game, people are learning to separate their social media life from their real lives. We are now learning the value of bonding offline and keeping specific things private (eh ang hirap kaya mag delete ng photos kung wala na kayo at daig mo pa si Maja Salvador sa isang katutak na messages na narereceive mo after changing your relationship status) because in the world of oversharing, wala na talagang mysterious ngayon and let’s face it, does your boss need to know about your kuchi kuchi koo movie date with your boyfriend when you have been doing this practically every week?
We thought it was just us, and our cynical selves who thought that there was something totally wrong with couples who constantly posted “bae” photos kahit yung pictures eh paulit ulit na. Wala na bang iba pang anggulo sa couple selfie? But alas, there have been studies proving that oversharing can only mean one thing = insecurity.
For some reason, more and more people are deriving their self worth from the amount of likes they get on social media and people often put up selfies during times of self-doubt (unless dakilang strong ka lang talaga at gandang ganda sa sarili) but in truth, we all need a little nudge and now it can easily be done with a simple upload. Same goes for couples, the more they prove that they are happy in a relationship, the most likely they are not. Malamang for show? Maybe. But not all though. Some may just be sooooo sappy, este happy, that they just want to share it with the world. Oo, may ganung tao!
Logically, it makes sense that relationship-contingent self-esteem, or RCSE, which has previously been linked to lower overall self-esteem and higher social anxiety, could lead someone to seek validation by systematically “liking” each of their partner’s status updates or insisting on making things Facebook official: “There is positive correlation between your self-esteem being contingent on relationships and it being contingent on other things external to you (e.g., others’ approval),” lead study author Gwendolyn Seidman told me in an email. “Those high in RCSE feel the need to show others, their partners and perhaps themselves that their relationship is ‘OK,’ and thus, they are OK.” (To read more click here).
So the next time you see a series of posts about don’t get mad, just unfollow. You don’t know how much a struggle it is to prove to everyone that they are happy, and that they have no issues with themselves and in their relationships. Don’t judge, because really getting validation from social media, projecting that the bae is the best fucking bae in the world, is an uphill battle that surely you (the annoyed person) wouldn’t want to climb. Wag mong basagin ang trip. Maawa ka na lang.