24 Jul Breaking the Walls of First Impressions
“Do you ever wish you had the second chance to meet someone for the first time?”
This is one of those quotes that stuck around Pinterest for far longer than it should but I never quite understood the essence of it. For someone like me who is always ready to move forward, it’s quite difficult to keep going back to situations you obviously cannot undo anymore. I’ve never been the type of person who lingered in the past so quotations such as this one bothered me.
However, it has been said that time and the situations they bring, ultimately change a person. Today, as I nostalgically sit and smile during a company event in a restaurant that holds many memories, my mind couldn’t help but drift to this quote that I’ve seen so many times.
First impressions are quite tricky. One of my favorite things in the world is meeting people for the first time. There’s that mystery and ultimately that zing when you first meet that signals that this person would play a part in your life, what part they would play, one can never know for sure, but you know it so you take the risk of letting a new person in.
The first few days are always exciting. You meet the person, dive deep into the unknown with them, and suddenly, if you’re like me, you begin to crave more about them. Knowing a person under the many layers of their façade is the true test of being naked. It’s easy to take off your clothes, but to unravel who you are, your fears, your joys, your plans for the future, that is rare in a world like ours and is the true essence of being naked. So getting to know the person and diving headfirst without caution is often coupled with adrenaline. Here you are, letting a stranger in, hoping that maybe this person is as wonderful as you first imagined them to be.
However, days turn into months and suddenly, the excitement wears off. You suddenly realize that this person may not be as golden as you first assumed they would be. You see how their fear drives them to the point of insecurity and as they bask in their insecurity, they also turn into monsters. You suddenly see how they react when they’re mad and you see what they turn to be once the spotlight is on them. You see this wonderful creature unravel and all you see are the very stark differences between how you first saw them and the truth of who they are.
This is where the first impression unravels. You begin to question your judgment and wonder if you were wrong or it was simply the circumstances that changed them. You couldn’t quite bring together the truth about this person who has turned into a monster right before your eyes and the beautiful idealized version of them in your head.
In your head, they remain as perfect and as fragile as when you first met them, nothing they did was wrong. They carried in them the promise of something one has always prayed for and yet, as with anything beautiful, the layers slowly peeled away and you saw it for what it was. That’s what happens in the real world: You take off their layers and you decide if it’s worth staying with.
As all these things go through my head, my mind wanders back to the quote I posted at the beginning of this article and it makes me question if I really would want to go back to the beginning, if I would go through all of it again. Or would I, knowing how it all ended, simply turn my back and walk away?
In our alternate universe, would I have simply said hi from across the room and leave it at that? I would never know but knowing my heart, I would have still done it, because that’s what happens when you love something broken, you keep holding on until the day you finally see them whole.
But until then, you deal with the layers, you deal with the broken pieces, and hope that maybe next time, it would be better.
MEL SAYS: Sometimes circumstances aren’t right which is why some people drift apart. Time will tell if they are meant to stay apart, or drift back towards each other. Sometimes, you just aren’t ready for each other yet. Other times, we meet these people so we know what to do when we meet people like them again in the future, so we know better, and do better. Some people we meet not for them to stay, but for us to learn from them.