18 Sep LP’s Obvious Choice for VP

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kriscover

JUAN SAYS: So Roxas’ choice is Lenny Robredo as running mate. While we have read many good things about Robredo, we couldn’t help but push for the OBVIOUS choice of the Liberal Party for Vice President. Let’s face it, Mar Roxas needs a good make over, and sadly, the reputation of his wife is bringing him down. Roxas may be a good man, may have good intentions for the country. Pero aminin natin, hindi siya bankable sa mga oras na ito! What better way to boost Mar Roxas than have a Vice Presidential tandem who can hold the whole nation at her command, stop the whole world just to watch her reveal her love life (and sex life or the lack there of for that matter). We are talking about one person and one person only – KRIS AQUINO!
 
Sure she will be campaigning for Mar, but truth be told, an endorsement from Kris won’t do much unlike if Kris runs alongside Mar. Think about it. Walang choice ang ABS-CBN but to endorse and to send all their stars marching down for Roxas. Takot na lang nilang lahat mawalan ng trabaho!
 
 If this happens, we promise to support the tandem. Seryoso! Basta sa amin ang bad publicity. After all, as we see in the network wars now, bad publicity is still publicity!
 
What happens then to the government if Kris Aquino wins Vice President? Here are our predictions:

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  1. Kris TV set will be in Malacanang or in Coconut Palace should she wish to hold office there.
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  3. There will be a new reality show on ABS-CBN entitled “how to run a country,” with Kris Aquino as the star.
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  5. The SONA speech will be filled with her product endorsements.
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  7. There will be a search for a Second Gentleman. In fact, it will be her first agenda. She will replace Pastillas Girl in “It’s Showtime.” But searchees must be young. After all, cougar is the new sexy!
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  9. Vice Ganda will be a cabinet member.
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  11. So will Boy Abunda. He will head a new department – the Department of LGBTQ. Kris would have to put someone there because she wouldn’t really care about the issues. Because it is not about her. Huhuhu.
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  13. Josh will be the National Youth Commission Ambassador.
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  15. Darla will be the Pambansang PA and speech writer.
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  17. Prada will be the Pambansang Aso.
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  19. The new Pambansang Mantra will be: “It’s All About ME!”
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  21. There will be a pambansang paggalang gesture. Nope it isn’t pagmamano. It will be looking at you from head to foot, and back again.

 

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