16 Apr 14 Places We’d Like to See JEANE Partey-Partey

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JUAN SAYS: Justice is finally served, on one count that is. But one step to justice is better than nothing. Amidst criticisms and controversy in the Bangsamoro Basic Law passage, the Aquino government has successfully put behind bars alleged pork barrel scam mastermind Janet Lim Napoles, when the courts found her guilty of serious illegal detention of Benhur Luy. Sadly, her being found guilty is not exactly for the crime that we all hope to “hang” her for, but hey, one victory no matter how small is victory nonetheless.
 
As reported by inquirer.net, Janet Napoles was sentenced to a jail term of up to 40 years, and to pay damages to Luy amounting to a total of P100,000.00.
 
While we are all rejoicing her conviction, we can’t help think about her extravagant daughter Jeane who is already in town, and has in fact paid P50,000.00 as bail for her own case. What would Jeane be now with her mother in jail? Will she be sighted in posh clubs partying ‘till kingdom come? Will she be seen slinging her (in)famous signature bags that can pay for 2-months worth of meals of an impoverished family of six? Pakalat-kalat pa kaya si Jeane sa fort o sa Amerika?
 
While we await and keep our eyes open on where Jeane “my behbeh” Napoles would strike again, here are places where we expect to see her in the coming days.
 
Jeane, while you may be in agonizing pain now that your mom is in jail, we are still wishing that you keep it partey-parteying. That’s your style isn’t it? So beh …shake it, break it, make it bounce!
 
1. Senate hearing with Miriam Santiago. Beh, we’d love Sen. Miriam to call u names straight to your face. We are wondering how she would word her criticisms on your lavish lifestyle. Would that include: “ang kapal ng mukha mo,” or “wala ka talagang kahihiyan,” or “palunok ko kaya sa iyo ang bag mo?” 
 
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2. Beh, we are non-judgemental people, and we would love to bring you to one of our Sunday Worship Services to bring you to the Lord. Seriously. And we would gladly tell you the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus, and why the Rich Man never got to heaven. Game? Set the day beh, we will be there. Amen.
 
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3. Since mommy dearest would be spending an entire lifetime in jail, we are hoping to see you there, as an inmate! You are popular, you have made yourself notoriously popular so why don’t you bring it in jail! To kill the time you and your mom would be spending behind bars, why don’t you make yourself, and the rest of the gang popular. Isayaw mo beh! If you can’t bring Jeane to the partey, they bring the partey to Jeane!
 
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4. If Mar Roxas was Mr. Palengke, why don’t you make yourself useful and be Ms. Palengke. Not that we are linking the two of you since Mar is already married to THE Korina Sanchez. We’d love to see you hands get dirty (oh and your dress too) with all the blood and sweat in the palengke. Make your presence felt and see for yourself how hard it is to earn money. Maybe this would teach you a thing or two.
 
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5. Take up a cause. Shave your head and donate your hair for those who are battling cancer. You will have enough time to grow it back while in jail. Can’t wait.
 
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6. You were here during the Pope’s visit and we wished that you were amongst the lucky ones who were at the MOA Arena gathering. We hope that the Pope would’ve blessed you and he would’ve shown mercy and compassion to you. Yun lang, baka magliyab ka bigla sa tama ng holy water. Hala!
 
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7. Nagpenitensya ka ba noong Holy Week? Bawas-bawas ng kasalanan pag may time!
 
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8. We are strongly suggesting that you join the Black Nazarene procession in Quiapo next year, in your stilettos. And don’t drag Nancy B. with you.
 
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9. Were you at the One Direction concert? We were all waiting for you there! Where is your picture with the band? Jeane, DO NOT go to crowded concerts. Restrain yourself from attending any concerts in the Philippines coz they might just do this to you. Oh they did? Why aren’t we surprised.
 
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10. We know we are dying to party with your so called “shala” friends. And you can’t wait to take pictures too. But we must advise you against this. They don’t want to be associated with the likes of you, not since your family was accused of the pork barrel scam. Do not expect them to be friends with you anymore. Believe in the saying: “birds of the same feather, make a feather duster.” And they just don’t wanna be dusters with you anymore.
 
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11. Instead, why don’t you be with street kids? If you have enough money to throw those lavish parties, you will have enough stashed somewhere to feed these kids, Jeane-style!
 
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12. We told you already, avoid the parties even in Boracay. They may just ignore you or worse, kick you out. They don’t want you there. Trust me!
 
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13. So they threw you out of the club huh? We told you so!
 
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14. There beh, that’s more like it. Learn to earn your keep. Hindi yang nakaasa ka lang sa mananakaw sa mga kapwa mo Pilipino at ibibili mo ng BAG. Hambalusin ka ng bag ng madlang people makita mo.
 
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