14 Aug When Men Become PILYO: Tabloid Headlines That Never Made It

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JUAN SAYS: We were scrolling down our facebook feeds and came across the status of this guy, Mars Arias, and we found ourselves laughing while reading the whole thread which now contains 1000+ responses. We were too curious about this man and those who responded to his one line status that we decided to drop him a message.
 
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Juan: Came across your status. Its so funny, can we feature it?
 
Mars: Huh?
 
Juan: The one regarding the “hired killer”.
 
Mars: Tagal na nun.
 
Juan: It was just posted last week…
 
Mars: Wehh….
 
Juan: What made you post that status? It was really stupid. Funny stupid.
 
Mars: ? Kesa mag-drugs ako. Don’t you know that I make the titles for tabloids?!
 
Juan: Seriously?
 
Mars: Saw an old tabloid and it reminded me of sensational journalism.
 
Juan: So you like reading tabloids?
 
Mars: Yung mga kwento lang ni Xerex and Adventures ni Boy Troso. Hahahaha
 
Juan: Do you learn anything from reading those sex stories.
 
Mars: Yup. Words like naglalawa, pumulandit, naghuhumindik.
 
We gave up on Mars and decided to just put out his status and the latest responses from friends. After further investigation, we found out that Mars Arias is actually a lawyer by profession. A graduate of UP Law.
 
Juan: In your profile it says that you work for a hotel-casino. Aren’t you worried your co-workers might read your status?
 
Mars: I don’t work there anymore. Since December.
 
Juan: So you just didn’t update your profile?
 
Mars: It’s better than saying Ive been unemployed, diba? Lol
 
Sabi ko na sa inyo, sumuko na kami kay Mars! Read on and have a great laugh. It’s Friday and it’s “Buwan Ng Wika.” Para sa ekonomiya ng Pilipinas!
 
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To read more of their “Buwan Ng Wika” Tabloid suggestions, stalk Mars Arias on facebook!

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