07 Feb Even Pretty Girls Become Side Chicks
JUAN SAYS: Yes, you are reading it right. We are writing about Ellen Adarna, and NO, we are not bashing her this time around. We just want to breakdown her latest uh, mishap (to say the least) and say our piece regarding situations like these. It’s ok Ellen, we are not calling you dumb this time around (though Sisa is tempted to), but you see, we at JUAN understand that even the hottest girls and the prettiest girls (not exactly the most intelligent ones and we would like to believe that they too are not excluded from this ordeal) get heartbroken too.
In your case Ellen, we believe that from the very start you have known that Baste is attached and yet you agreed to a “relationship” of sorts with him. We all know that you agreed to be a side chick and surely, he would have expected you to act like one.
While we at JUAN would normally frown upon being “side chicks,” Sisa would in her right mind say that you are indeed one stupid girl (but she isn’t in her right mind today so no bashing), we understand where you are coming from. It is not to call you desperate, nor is it to say that you are a homewrecker just like what others are saying about you on social media. We believe that you just want to be happy. And sometimes, many of us think that happiness lies even when the situation is not ideal.
If you’ve watched that episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Meredith said that what matters is “happy now” and not necessarily “happy ever after” then we are with you on this. To us, there is nothing wrong with being happy. If you are happy with the person you are with, if you are okay with the situation that you put yourself into, then it is fine. As long as you know where you stand, you know your boundaries and you very well know in your head that this is not something that could potentially last forever, then maybe it is fine.
We don’t really know why you guys decided to “break up” so to speak but we were hoping that you came to your senses and told yourself “I don’t fucking deserve this. I deserve better!” But from the news items that came about your revelation and Baste’s reaction, we are somewhat getting the feels that it was Baste who left because you were too demanding. Let us digress.
When you are the side chick, remember that you are just that. On the side. Kerida. Kabit. No. 2. And since this is all about you, we were thinking that you already know your shit about situations like this. You should know that you are not the fucking priority and that you should have a life of your own. Your world should not revolve around the person you are “with” because you know that there is a No. 1, and when all hell breaks lose, you know that he will choose her and never you. Unless of course, the object of your affection was asshole enough to make you feel that this is NOT a game, and this was supposed to be something real and that he just fucked up. He fucked up because that is what he is supposed to be – someone who fucks everything up just because. Then that is another story.
The sad thing about being a side chick is this, you can never demand, you can never expect. In tagalog, tiratirahan lang ang mapupunta sa’yo. And if you are that one person who has every ounce of self-worth in her body then you will bolt out the door and leave. You don’t deserve to be second fiddle because you know your worth, no matter how happy he makes you, no matter if he makes you feel alive again. Because THIS is SOOOOO NOT FUCKING WORTH IT.
But we know that it is easier said than done. Women need attention from the significant other (kabit ka man o hindi). Women need to be loved, kahit konting pagmamahal, kahit namamalimos ka na, putang ina kailangan mo ng pagmamahal na yan! Tanggapin na natin ang katotohanan! So side chicks DO NOT have the right to complain nor demand, but we have every tendency to do it just because it is in our nature. And to fight it is going against the current. Tiring and almost impossible.
We do not have any advice for you Ellen and to the many side chicks on Earth. And right now, we also believe that we do not have the right to judge. But if we were in your shoes, we would’ve sucked it in – with a purpose. You have to think through it, understand deeply why you are still in that fucked-up situation no matter how impossible it is. You have to plan this out carefully, your ride with the object of your affection and maybe your graceful exit.
If there was one thing we didn’t like about what you did Ellen, it is your exit. It was bloody and at this age, a scandal isn’t exactly very very classy. We would have just ridden the tide, rolled with the punches and let everything fade. At least hindi ikaw ang mukhang gago. At least alam mo kung bakit hinding hindi ka na babalik. At kahit isumpa mo ng paulit ulit ang taong nanakit sa’yo, wala siyang magagawa at wala siyang masasabi sa’yo dahil tinanggap mo ang lahat lahat. This time around, you can tell yourself, I didn’t fuck this up asshole, you did.
If there was one thing good that came out of this dramatic episode of yours Ellen, it would be this – hindi lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa ganda ng mukha at BOOBS. Love then, relationships rather, have become great equalizers. It is egalitarian!
And to Baste, what can we say. He was just playing and no matter how much we wanna throw him a high five to the face with a chair, we still believe that he chose well. If we follow what other Davaoenos have said about his current girlfriend, we’d like to believe that she is the “better girl.” Better in terms of comparing the shit that both girls have managed to throw. Ellen is all over the place. We don’t know much about the other girl. In this case, Baste scored good points for choosing well. You don’t go into fire and have yourself burnt. Nice save Baste! But still, you deserve that high five.