26 Nov Editor’s Note: Issue 10 – Sino Ang Baliw?
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also…” Matthew 6:21
There will be times when I doubt myself as insane. Admittedly, like many of you, I am a person driven by passion. And by passion, I don’t mean just a lip service kind of thing where you get excited about a certain thing, a certain project, or a certain opportunity. When I talk about passion, it means where you channel all your energies, and most importantly where you give your life to. I know it sounds simple to many of you, but for me, my life choices have always been driven by that thought. I have shut out many opportunities, high paying ones at that, because I know that is not where my heart is. My choices haven’t been logical nor are they financially rewarding. There have been sleepless nights, countless prayers to God, and a lot of wild and crazy thoughts of ending my life just because I am too stretched, too worn out due to my passion projects. My family has also doubted my sanity repeatedly. How could anyone pass up a high paying job, a high paying project just because her heart is somewhere else? Yes, call me insane, and I would embrace that fully, because right now, that is what I think I am.
There would be people who do not go by the logic. And there would be people who would be treading the narrow road to insanity. And many times I find myself in this very road. Truly, in many ways and in many times I have question myself. Why the fuck am I always choosing that “impossible way,” instead of going the normal, more comfortable road to freedom? Bakit ba ang hilig kong pahirapan ang sarili ko? Why is it that by default I have the tendency to do everything that others can’t or won’t do simply because they have not put their 100% heart into the things that they say they are passionate about? And many times, with my crazy passion I have broken my heart believing that every person I meet or work with, share the same degree of passion that I have. Hindi ba dapat ganun? Hindi ba tapat “all in or nothing at all?” Or am I just being insane thinking that every person would give all their hearts, would pass up on many things for the sake of what they believe is their sense of purpose? At the end of the day, is it really about money? Is that our “and all, and be all” purpose in life? How much money you have and what shit you can buy with it? Isn’t life about how many people you have touched, influenced, inspired to embrace the totality of who they are, and to walk towards their own life calling no matter how bleak the end goal is? Isn’t that what faith is? Isn’t that what belief in God is all about? Faith is not about what you see, but what you know in your heart is “obeying God in what He has asked you to do?” And if believing in my God-given life purpose is insane, then I am one.
On our 10th issue, my passion project JUAN.com.ph would be sharing with you the different ways of how people are truly insane. And in this issue, we would be showing you our own little insanities and how we think the world is completely insane, and why we should be embracing it. Hoping that this issue would also bring clarity to your hearts and encourage (or discourage) you from being as passionate as we are. We don’t live by the norms. Sometimes we don’t live by the rules. In many ways we fall, in many times we have our hearts broken and our souls torn to pieces, still we continue to walk in this narrow road to the fulfillment of our insane dreams. Call me crazy. Call us crazy. But that is the only way we know how to live.