17 Sep Don’t Fall for the Fuckboy
JUAN SAYS: Disclaimer: the man on the photo is not necessarily a fuckboy. We just thought that he has a yummy body that is f*ck-worthy.
Not all men you met are potential fuck boys. That is a fact. We know you have been burnt time and again by the number of douche bags that you have managed to get yourselves entangled with. And we know how it feels to be disappointed by them, a good number of them to say the least. But in a world where there are only a few good men (who are share we say, good looking too), we should still remain hopeful knowing that there are still a good number of them who remains to be what we hoped them to be – the opposite of those fucking bastards who broke our hearts.
The problem here is this, we already know a fuckboy when we see one, and yet we choose to indulge in his antics thinking that maybe we can change him for good. We know a fuckboy, and we know him too well. He is that asshole who is full of himself whom you stalked on facebook and saw that all his featured photos are of himself and nothing more. He is narcissistic, gwapong gwapo sa sarili. Anyone who thinks that they are God’s gift to whoever clearly has something wrong going in between their temples. He is that guy who is quite imposing, late on the first actual date that you were supposed to have. He is that inconsiderate guy who would make the effort to check you out and judge you by how you looked, not even bothering to get to know who you are on the inside. That guy who is shallow, has nothing to offer but his hairy arms and chest. And goodness, who wants to swallow a furball! Dafuq.
If you still don’t get it and still fall for the fuckboy, then we are guessing that a fuckboy is your kryptonite. Maybe you have lost your mind. Or maybe you have contracted “messianic complex” thinking that at one point or the other, he will be better because of you. No honey, a fuckboy is a fuckboy through and through.
We found this article in Thebolde.com discussing the many different kinds of fuckboys. If the man you are crushing on falls in one of the categories then RUN honey RUN! In the opposite direction, you idiot! And when you’ve finally mustered the strength to do it, be assured that we are cheering you on!
The classic fuckboy is the one that gave meaning to the word. He’s not that hard to spot because he wears his douchebag status on his sleeve and goes out of his way to make sure he’s the centre of attention everywhere he goes. He appears fun, confident and flirts relentlessly and his lines are right out of a Drake song, so if you can’t spot this fuckboy, it’s your own fault.
- THE GHOSTER.
At the beginning, the ghoster is seemingly normal. He texts you back in a timely manner and when you go out, he’s sweet and generous. Then all of a sudden, bam! He’s gone. You can tell yourself he got hit by a bus all you want, but the truth is he was always a fuckboy. The only way to spot the ghoster is when it’s already too late.
- THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.
This fuckboy lies so much, you have to wonder how far out of touch with reality he really is. Every time you talk, he’s got ridiculously over the top stories that contradict everything else he’s ever said to you. Pay attention to what he says and it won’t be hard to find the gaps in his tales.
- THE ARROGANT BAD BOY.
He’s the one all the girls want because he seems dark and mysterious, but the more you get to know him, the more you see the real him for the negative train wreck of a person he is. He thinks he’s better than everyone else and doesn’t conform to society, which is undeniably hot. The only way to spot this fuckboy is to steer clear right off the bat.
- THE VICTIM.
He’s generally the type of guy to call friend zone or act as if every girl he’s ever wanted to date broke his heart because they didn’t have the same feelings he did. He plays on your sensitive, empathetic side to get what he wants through manipulation and if you call him on his fuckboy status, he’s furious.
- THE COMMITMENT-PHOBE.
This guy doesn’t like labels and hasn’t had a girlfriend in god knows how long. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in an almost relationship as long as you allow it. As soon as you hear this type say, “Let’s just have fun!” or “Why do we have to label it?” run for the hills and away from that fuckboy.
- THE LATE CALLER.
Also called the night owl, this type of fuckboy only calls you past midnight and usually only has a few hours to hang out — and by hang out, I mean have sex. He’s one of the worst because he’s openly admitting to being a fuckboy by treating you like a booty call. Ignore his texts or better yet, block his number.
- THE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
When this guy is with you, he’s as sweet as honey, but when you manage to accompany him on a night out with the guys, he goes total bro and treats you like crap. This guy can’t be both the prince and the frat leader, so it’s easy to tell that he’s playing one of you — and it’s not his friends, FYI.
- THE EFFORTLESS DATER.
His idea of a romantic date is Netflix and chill and you never go out in public together. He may be low key in his approach, but if he’s not making any effort whatsoever to have real fun with you, he’s a fuckboy. Simple as that.
- THE WANNABE.
The fuckboy that just got “another promotion” and has a Benz in the shop for as long as you’ve known him is one of the more pathetic types. He thinks the only way to get women to sleep with him is by pretending he’s more important and financially secure than he is. Newsflash: he’s not fooling anyone.
- THE PRETENTIOUS PRICK.
He’s only into underground everything — music, clothes, restaurants, you name it — and he looks down on you when you pick him up playing the latest Rihanna track. His nose in the air attitude will only get worse because he already thinks he’s better than you based on the most menial things.
- THE OH-SO-POPULAR DUDE.
The guy who never puts down his phone is one of the most annoying types because you can barely get a word in while you’re out with him. His eyes are on his screen far more than they are on you. WTF? When this happens, and it will happen early on, ditch him immediately.
- THE EXCUSABLE CHEATER.
Much like the commitment-phobe, this type will sleep with whoever he wants, whenever he wants and he’s got every excuse in the book to make you believe that it’s either a) your fault or b) you have no right to be upset. He’s never sorry and usually the only way to spot him is when you first hear those pesky words, “I’m not looking for anything serious.”
- THE ‘FAMOUS’ PERSONALITY.
He treats you like a fan because his YouTube videos get 500 hits and he practically pushes autographs on people while you’re out trying to get a drink. He’s always switched on and acts as if the cameras are rolling 24/7. Uh, no.
- THE NON-STOP PARTIER.
This guy has been consistently drunk since you’ve known him. He never misses a chance to party it up, even if he has work in the morning. It may seem fun and adventurous at first, but the reality of the situation is that he’s probably just an alcoholic with an escapist mentality. If he can’t be sober at least half the time, steer clear of this headache of a man.