02 Apr Being Gay is NOT an Excuse to be a Slut

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JUAN SAYS: We were stuck in a party, a room full of gay people talking. It was not usual for us to be in such company, but among many other things, we found it amusing. Don’t get us wrong, we are not homophobes. If you were to ask us to stand up for gay rights and gay marriage in front of the Catholic Church, we would. With full conviction, we would. But as we overheard most of their conversations, we were slowly taken aback. Conversations revolved around the many other gay people they slept with. In fact, it was starting to feel like a contest amongst the balding and the younger set.

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While we believe that we at JUAN are mostly open minded people, we couldn’t help but cringe at this.

We were watching Grace and Frankie the other day, and one episode where Robert was hospitalized clearly stated that he was fooling around with other gay men because he wanted to live the gay lifestyle. What was the point, he said, of being gay if he didn’t do what gays do. Hasty generalization we presumed, until we encountered a couple more stories this week, from gays and lesbian friends who were fooling around with everyone they can get their hands on just because. As one friend puts it: “mali naman itong buhay namin diba? So anong moral compass ang pinagsasabi mo?”

That got us thinking, does being gay come with a certain lifestyle? Is it mandatory to say the least to be in a fucking spree because they feel they can? Where does decency lie in their lives? Is it even part of it?

We have known a good number of gay and lesbian couples who have managed to stick together and avoid that so-called lifestyle. Indeed, they have shown us that it is possible. The thing is, while many of our LGBT friends troop to the streets to fight for their rights, many of its members are busy maligning these very rights that their “kabaro” have been fighting for all these years. And we, those who support equality, gay marriage and gay rights are slowly getting turned off by some of these “gay lifestyle” practices. Ano nga ba talaga ang pinaglalaban namin para sa ‘sang-kabaklaan?’ Ang mabuhay ng patas? O ang mabuhay ng malaya upang magawa ang kamunduhang taglay?

Many of us have rallied behind the LGBT when gay marriage was allowed in the US. Many of us wept with many of them as they rejoiced that finally, they can share the rights of many heterosexual couples. And today we wonder, how many of those marriages have ended in divorce?

And you know what annoys us, even more, is that one excuse that even heterosexuals use – the single card. To choose to be single means that there is no dire need for a partner, and that includes hooking up. Being single is not a pass to fuck around. There is something definitely screwed up with that.

And the saddest part of all, are those members of the LGBT who still find their sexualities “wrong.” Thinking that who they are is wrong gives them the license to do everything else wrong. Being gay does not give you the right to throw your moral compass out the window. As our title suggests, Decency is decency, no matter your sexual orientation. Do not give more ammunition to the naysayers. You are only proving them right. Do not give them the opportunity to look down on you. You have come this far.

We believe that every human being regardless of gender is a rational being. Being rational means you have a set of moral principles to guide you with your choices. Use it so that others (the bigots and those who just tolerate the gay community) may see that gays and lesbians have morals too.

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